A Year After...

The month of March will always be very memorable for me and my husband. I can vividly remember everything that happened last year...

January 3, 2014 was the day I got married to the man of my dreams. It was extra extra special because believe it or not, I got my period in the middle of the church ceremony. Funny, right? Anyway, February came and after the second week, I began wondering how come I have not gotten my period yet. So I asked my husband to buy a pregnancy test just to check...and the result was positive. I have to be honest, neither one of us expected to have a baby so soon because we were planning to have one after a year or two. Anyway, we were still happy with the surprise news. A baby is a blessing.

Funny Note: the moment I saw the two red lines that confirmed positive pregnancy, the first thing that came to my mind was...how will I tell my parents about this? Then I realized, hey I am already married. :)

The next day, my husband and I went to St. Lukes BGC to have a checkup. Armed with no experience and knowledge on pregnancy, we went to the first available OB, Dr. Elsie Pascua. She gave a pep talk that pregnancy is not an illness, explained the do's and dont's of pregnancy and handed us a recommendation to have an ultrasound to determine the age, expected due date and if there are any complications. Out of excitement, we got an ultrasound on that same day. The result was I was already at 7 weeks. However, the OB - Sonologist informed me that the gestational sac is still empty. I informed my OB about the result and she told me it is normal and it may be too early as it is still developing. She told me to have a repeat ultrasound in 2 weeks time.

After 2 weeks, we came back for another ultrasound. Because it's our first pregnancy, we weren't aware that husbands can accompany you to the ultrasound room. I was alone with the OB - Sonologist when:

Doctor: "You are already at 9 weeks but the sac is still empty and no heartbeat detected."

Me: "What's that supposed to mean?"

Doctor: "You should ask your OB about this."

I wanted to cry right then and there. From that moment, I knew something was wrong. I asked myself, But how can it be? I feel perfectly fine. The moment my husband saw me at the lounge outside the room, he asked what's wrong because he could see it in my face. I told him what the Sono said. We went to the OB for her to see the result of the ultrasound, she was not happy with the result either, but she was still hopeful. She said give 1 more week to have a final ultrasound because it might just be a late bloomer and that my cycle is just off.

The car ride from BGC going home to Cainta, all I did was to cry my heart out. My husband tried his best to comfort me. I knew he was also very down but he also knew he has to stay strong for both of us. When we got home, I researched possible causes and the most common term I read was BLIGHTED OVUM. 

A blighted ovum occurs when a fertilized egg implants in the uterus but doesn't develop into an embryo. It is also referred to as an anembryonic pregnancy and is a leading cause of early pregnancy failure or miscarriage. Often it occurs so early that you don't even know you are pregnant. - WebMD

Both our families were still hopeful, but I couldn't bring myself to be that way. I want to prepare myself for the worst because I never liked disappointments. I have to be physically, emotionally and spiritually ready for this. That dreaded week came and the ultrasound result showed my gestational sac was still empty. It was indeed a Blighted Ovum. My OB said possible causes could be a weak sperm or egg when they fertilized. But she told us very reassuringly that my husband and I have done nothing wrong to cause this miscarriage and we certainly could not have prevented it.

On March 23, 2014 I got the very first surgery of my life, D&C (Dilation and Curettage) at St. Lukes Hospital in BGC.

Dilation and curettage (D&C) is a brief surgical procedure in which the cervix is dilated and a special instrument is used to scrape the uterine lining - WebMD

My room at St. Lukes Hospital - Bonifacio Global Center

While waiting for my scheduled operation. I was never a fan of needles.

It has almost been a year since then, but it doesn't mean I shouldn't forget that moment. It may have been a very shattering moment for me and my husband, but everything happens for a reason and we believe God will grant you blessings in His right time. 

Though she stumbles, she will not fall. for the Lord upholds her with His right hand.

-Psalm 37:24